So here I am. Watching all that is going around me. I am set apart from everyone else. Being an outlier is such a surreal feeling. It is surreal for the fact that I am an outlier in my own life. Yes, I am included in this surrogacy because I am the husband, and I do provide a good amount of support to my wife as she goes on this wonderful journey as a surrogate. What I am eluding to when I say I am an outlier is I do not have any direct responsibility in this whole process except be there to support my wife. I don’t have to be researching for the best diaper cream, the most affordable diapers, or the most functional baby equipment for our needs. I’m not worried about how we are going to afford child care. I don’t have to worry about acquiring clothes for a new tiny human. I don’t have to lift a finger to rearrange the house in preparation for a new addition to our family even though my wife is pregnant. It is also surreal to think that there is a life inside of her that isn’t mine and isn’t hers. The best feeling that I have experienced so far is seeing the excitement from Patrick and Damien about this whole process. I have a whole new respect for my wife, that she would go through this for someone else because she wanted to help another family.
Day after day my heart grows to this journey. I am more and more interested and the more I want to be invested in this whole process but something about how this process all works keeps me at a certain distance because I don’t need to be more invested than I am already. There is nothing more that I need to do except to support my wife and her needs and to sit back and be happy. The feeling is similar to the feeling of being caught up with all of your work and you can just enjoy the rest of your day.