Pregnancy Confirmation

Pregnancy Confirmation

So a few days after the transfer Mandy started to take at home pregnancy tests because we don’t have patience and we want to know if the transfer is successful as soon as we can. I know that the home tests can be inaccurate and the only official test is a blood test from the clinic but they are still pretty accurate.  She took tests after 3, 4, 5, and 6 days after the transfer and the results were gradually increasing to positive. Mandy is part of a couple surrogacy groups on facebook and they call the little lines that are almost positive “squinters”. Day 3 and 4 it is really hard to tell but we both believe that we saw a squinter. Day 5 and 6 are obvious squinters and then she took another test probably a week and a half after the transfer and it was a solid pregnant line. The “dpt” mark stands for days post transfer in the picture below.

Pregnancy tests after the transfer.

My wife is pregnant! She is pregnant with a child that isn’t mine! She is pregnant with a child that isn’t hers either! At the ultrasound confirmation appointment, the baby was measured at 6 weeks 2 days when it has actually been 6 weeks 3 days. This means that the baby is spot on where it needs to be! Those of you who have had kids before know the feeling of hearing your child’s heartbeat for the first time. It melts your heart, or makes you nervous, but also for the majority of us it brings us this new kind of excitement and happiness. It also can bring some people into the realization that this is actually happening, that there really is a child in there and that you are going to be a parent!

Watching Patrick and Damien I saw that look on their faces, the look of disbelief that the heartbeat was actually their child and not Mandy’s heart beat. As the realization washed over them I saw in them what I saw with my wife when we first heard Snow’s heartbeat. An excitement lit up in their faces and you can tell something hit them, I can’t say for sure what hit them, whether they now realize that this is for real and they are going to be daddies, or  if they were just excited that things are going perfectly as planned, or that they fell in love with the life that is inside of my wife, but I do know one thing, and that is that they are happy and that is what matters most. If you recall me telling you I didn’t really bond with my daughter until she was born. yes I was excited to hear her heartbeat in an ultrasound, and It brought me great joy to see her develop inside the womb, but I didn’t have the overwhelming sense of “this child is mine” until after I held her. Again I can’t speak for them, but I feel like they are going to have a similar experience to mine and the child-parent bond will be strengthened once they get to hold their child.

What are some of the things I am feeling you ask? Well, let me tell you. It is something else being able to watch this excitement unfold and to be able to see joy be placed in someone’s heart. It makes me appreciate my wife so much more that this is something that she is able to do for other people out of the desire to help others make their family. I am excited that I get to be included in her and the intended parents’ excitement, and the only thing I have to do is to be there to support my wife. Other than that when I think about the child not being mine, or my wife’s I get a little different feeling, and I can’t quite describe it other than just being different. It isn’t a bad feeling at all but I guess the closest thing to describe the feeling is that it isn’t natural. More like a surreal feeling. By the feeling being not natural I don’t mean it in a bad way like I don’t like the idea, it’s more like a foreign thing. It isn’t normal because it doesn’t follow the conventional ideology of what a pregnancy should be, but I am completely ok with this feeling because this isn’t your conventional pregnancy.  As for feeling attached to the baby, honestly, I forget that Mandy is even pregnant, one because you can’t physically tell yet and two I’m not emotionally invested in this child. I feel the same with this child as I did with my child at this stage because like I said earlier I didn’t really bond with her until I held her. Am I excited to see this child develop, yes! I want this child to come out happy and healthy and I want my wife to be happy, healthy and comfortable as well. As comfortable as she can be anyways.

I am excited about her next ultrasound appointment at 9 weeks because I really do like seeing the progress and knowing everything is going smoothly and that everything looks normal. I also like the opportunity to spend some time to get to know Patrick and Damien. I’ll be keeping you guys up to date on her progress and if anything interesting happens I’ll be sure to post it on MWTS. Comment below or use my contact page to get in touch with me if you have any questions or comments. Thanks for reading!

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