One of the hardest things you can do is uproot something, move it, and then replant it hoping that it will grow new roots. Of course, I’m not talking about plants here. I am talking about moving away from your roots, not your values or who you are, but where you are from and where your friends and family are. Some people are meant to stay rooted where their family and friends are, and it makes sense for them. Others should uproot and settle somewhere else but choose not to and sacrifice their happiness because of it. Others uproot and go at their first chance, and a lot find a place where they can grow their own roots. Some fail to grow new roots and end up back to their old roots which can be both good or bad depending on what is in store for your life.
My wife and I fall into the taking our fist chance to move and grow new roots. We moved out of our parent’s houses at age 18 and into our first apartment. Then we moved from our hometown for about a year to be closer to college. Then we moved back to our hometown to be closer to family and then a year later ended up moving 300+miles away to northern California for a new job I took which eventually ended with them laying me and about 100+ other people off after relocating us away from our homes. This is where a hard decision had to be made. We either move back to our hometown, back to our roots or find another job up here and continue to grow new roots. We chose to stay. We chose to stay because we have started to grow some good roots here with the friends we have made, and it would be one thing if they were just friends of my wife and me, but our daughter had friends too. Our roots have started to grow and now I believe we have a firm anchor up here.
It still isn’t always easy being this far away from most of our family but to me, it feels right being up here. It feels like my own and like I’m not living in someone else’s shadow. We are doing this ourselves and that is a struggle at times. Sometimes we just want to give it up here and move back. It would be easier but our happiness is questioned. Maybe it is only questioned because we are not done doing what we need to do up here away from everyone, and there still would be happiness back with family but as of right now even though I feel a little relief from the thought of having support of our family again I don’t believe we are meant to be living in that “old” lifestyle again just yet. I feel that we are not done up here and actually I wish our family could move up here instead of us moving back down to Southern California. I miss our families, and I would love to be able to spend more time with them and I would love to have Snow know and to be close to her family but I think that speaks to how highly we think of our friends we have made up here. We couldn’t be more blessed with the friends we have made up here, and also this blog wouldn’t be happening if we moved back because Mandy most likely wouldn’t have been a surrogate. She wouldn’t be a surrogate because the agencies in that area were not accepting candidates with a non-terminating status. She would still want to be a surrogate and maybe we would have worked it our in time but I believe there is a reason for everything. Living up here has made the whole surrogacy process easy breezy. We are close in location to the intended parents, 15 minutes away from the hospital where she has all her OB appointments and we are close to the agency so it makes dealing with everything so much easier. I couldn’t imagine having intended parents from another country, the difficulty or hassle they would have to go through just to have a kid through surrogacy.
So needless to say we are starting to grow our roots here, and only time will tell if we grow these roots deeper or if we graft ourselves back to our old roots, whatever we do I’m sure there is a good reason.